Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
