I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
