Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Rumble strips road head = magical
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
