i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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