so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
