I'm really into asian looking animals
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
