Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
