You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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