I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
