you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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