Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
