I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i think my cat just said my name.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I deserve this hangover.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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