I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
