Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
