hell yes lets make some ravioli
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
