For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
