32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
