Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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