just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
