Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
