i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
