Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
