who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
