Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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