I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
