i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
