Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Who died my cat blue again?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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