I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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