i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
