Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
