Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
