Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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