She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
