is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
