I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
