it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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