Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
