I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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