How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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