the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
