i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
