Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
