How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You can't special order awesome
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
