By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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