yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
