...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
