Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
