i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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