Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Randomize
