At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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