You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
