My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
