He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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