Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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