Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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