opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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