Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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(772): View more from Florida

bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

(406): View more from Montana

And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Amen.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.

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(614): View more from Ohio

How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?

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