So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
