Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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